I am sorry folks,
but this is one page I must add for all those idiots out
there whom haven't studied the Kelly story in depth much at
all, so sit back and read my comments which are in red.
16/04/02 ISSUE FOUR -
this was told to me by a teacher of mine when he saw a
picture of Ned Kelly's helmet on my note book with written
underneath the republic of north eastern Victoria. In whose
name I will not un-cover but these were his exact words -
once again folks, I feel ill!
"My family grew up
in Benalla, in north eastern Victoria" My teacher cautiously
points to a map I know all too well, " One morning, Ned
and Dan Kelly and a couple of mates -
couldn't even name the gang phew.. rode
down to his relatives house, and, "demanded" food.
- what a load of crap!
farmers said, they didn't have any, so he said that Ned and
the gang destroyed their fine crops -
what in the name of Moses where on earth did he pull that
one from??? and
He later added "He
was a mongrel, and they call him a hero" -
where's his evidence? what a fair dinkum dickhead, he has no
sense at all, so what was the date he read Ian Jones a short
life? when was last he even read about Kelly,
it is teachers like these in our schooling system, that make
our children unable to see the truth behind our National
heroes. This teacher would support folks like, Mr Warby who
killed thousand of innocent Aboriginals, he would call him
one of our national heroes, fair dinkum folks, this bloke is
real moron! we need to kick these teachers out their arses! - MIKE webmaster
4/4/02 ISSUE THREE -
this has to be the most idiotic simply dickheaded insertion
I have ever come across, I am purely disgusted in this piece
of supposed "literature"
what they are teaching our children!!
Reading Comprehension I - Ned
Read the passage and then complete the exercise that
- I feel ill.....
Why was he considered a hero and why is he still revered
today, more than 100 years after his death? It is a national
mystery. He is and was a controversial figure.
His whole family was on the wrong side of the law
who is this? which members of his family? you idiot!.
His parents were sent to Australia on a convict ship for
committing petty crimes -
Ned's mother came as a free immigrant you bloody moron!.
Ned's criminal career began at a young age in country
Victoria. In 1874 he was jailed for stealing a horse. -
When was that?
Ellen Kelly , his mother, was jailed in 1878 for wounding a
Also in 1878 Ned and his younger brother Dan were falsely
accused of attacking a wounded policeman. Both men fled to
the bush where the 'Kelly Gang' was formed. For sixteen
months they eluded police, committing robberies to survive.
They killed three policemen, robbed a bank in Euroa and held
the town of Jerilderie hostage.
In 1880 they took over the Glenrowan hotel and took many
of the town's residents hostage. They made armour of thick
steel to protect themselves from police bullets.
Unfortunately the heavy armour made them clumsy. Ned was
eventually captured and his brother Dan died in a fire when
the Glenrowan hotel was burnt down. -
What about Joe and Steve????
He was a thief and a killer, so why was Ned Kelly widely
loved? People admired his bravery and his defiance of the
police. When it was declared that he was to be hung, 60,000
people signed a petition asking that he be spared. He was
eventually hung at the Old Melbourne Jail on 11 November,
1880. Today we can still see a life size mask made
immediately after his death. It is on display along with
other Ned Kelly paraphernalia. He is remembered today in the
popular expression, 'as game as Ned Kelly'.
Read the sentences below and then choose the best phrase
to complete each sentence.
pure crap I didn't write these people!! Ned's mother came as
a FREE immigrant!! idiot!....
who are you to say?
people believe him to be a hero simply because he stood up
for the in-justice being done to him, his family & the
poor selectors around North-Eastern Victoria.
Because he defended the poor and tried to make the system
better for everyone, not just the rich squatters.
- I am
so appalled by this, it makes me feel sick, this what they
are teaching children at our schools, when or how are they
ever going to learn??? I have never seen anything so disgusting
in my life, if the webmaster of this page left an email,
they would get one shock of a lifetime!! - Mike Lawson.
3/4/02 ISSUE TWO
TONY: Here we are in
the bustlin' town of Glenrowan
MICK: Fortunately we missed the crowds. I think they
subsided..oooh around about the 1800s! ...the Kelly gang'll
be winning as per use! -
you are a crack up! NOT
TONY: I'm chockablock with goodies from the Ned Kelly
souvenir shop! "I drink with the Kelly gang"
MICK: The year is gonne taste so much better from now on.
TONY: Ned Kelly cigarette lighter- exactly the same as Ned
used to use.
MICK: Indeed Tone, I'm moved
TONY: A Ned kelly join-the-dots..and gee...I wonder who that
turns out to be? [guess who, folks!
- Mick Jagger?]
Your own Ned Kelly handpuppet! You can re-enact scenes!
MICK: I can't wait to do the noose scenes! -
yes you should give it a go on yourself!...[gets
out some drink bottles] "Red Ned." "Kelly
Cola." "Lynch Lime." Unfortunately, they were
all out of "Bugger me, I think the troopers are coming
Creamy Soda." -
TONY: Here's Ye Old Wishing Well. While I'm here, I think
I'll make a wish meself...*wishes*...OH DAMN! I'm still in
I hope you bloody leave soon moron!
TONY (reading sign): "Be warned, this attraction can
and will frighten people of all ages." [Tony and Mick
stare at crappy "attraction" in disbelief]..What
man would spend over two million dollars creating this? We
met him [middle aged lunatic guy smiles as he walks around
ringing large bell frantically]
3/02/02 ISSUE ONE
Thereís usually a
sign up somewhere, on the outskirts, telling you to tune in
to the local tourist radio station. And if you bother tuning
in itís usually worthwhile. The recording will probably be
out of date. Iíve heard recordings still being broadcast
that are fifteen years out of date. But a lot of the places
Iíve been to donít get that many tourists.
Benalla doesnít have
much to recommend it, tourist-wise. Itís been bypassed by
the highway to start with. And thereís not much to say
about it except that itís there. We had decided to go to
Benalla for fairly obscure reasons: I went to school with a
guy called Dave who was from Benalla. That was how he
introduced himself to people: Iím Dave from Benalla. It
was a matter of civic pride. My father would have said that
Dave was a bit of a thinker. Meaning he wasnít too bright.
We didnít address
Dave by his proper name. We called him Duh-ave. And heíd
smile. He was very sweet-natured. So when I saw Benalla on
the map, I knew I had to go there. Just so I could find out
exactly what it was that had made Dave the sort of guy that
Benalla was flat. That
could be good or bad. But the tourist radio station promised
much more. This was Kelly Country, and if Ned Kelly had
pissed in the street in Benalla there would be a marker on
the spot to commemorate it.
Ned Kelly is an
Australian hero, in the Australian tradition. Which means he
was like Dave, a bit of a thinker. In America, a hero is
someone, just an average nobody, who works hard and strives
and struggles and through sheer force of will succeeds and
becomes famous for their achievements. Thatís the American
Dream. An Australian hero is just an average nobody, who
works hard and strives and struggles and, while attempting
to do something exceptional and extraordinary, fails
miserably and dies. you
fair dinkum idiot!
The whole Ned Kelly
thing had always been a mystery to me, but the Benalla
tourist radio broadcast really helped me to understand it.
Apparently, there had been two people born in Benalla worth
mentioning: Sir Edward Weary Dunlop and Red Kelly, Ned
Kellyís father. Ned's
father was born in Ireland!
Weary Dunlop had been a
war hero, of course. He was a surgeon, and he had
volunteered to serve his country during World War Two. After
he had been captured he had been tortured and repeatedly put
his own life before that of his injured patients. And after
the war, he forgave his captors and became an advocate for
furthering Asian-Australian relations.
But according to the
local tourist radio station, Weary Dunlopís achievements
were a poor second to Ned Kellyís. Not only was Nedís
father, Red Kelly, born in Benalla arghhh!
But Nedís first
criminal activities, which involved riding his horse on the
footpath and assaulting and robbing an Asian called Ah Foong,
Fook moron! and
he was not robbed! were
committed in Benalla, the sort of actions which later
cemented Nedís reputation as a true Australian Hero.
And then we heard about
the cummerbund. On Mair Street, the broadcast told us, at
the Tourist Information Centre, there was a Costume and
Pioneer Museum. And on display was Ned Kellyís cummerbund.
Kris and I laughed Why?.
It was the stupidest thing either of us had ever heard. So
we had to see it, Fair
Ned had been wearing
the cummerbund when he was captured, underneath his armour.
Which is a strange image to start with: a bushranger with a
fondness for formal wear what can you
say folks?. The story was that he had been given the
cummerbund for rescuing a drowning kid when he was himself
young, before he started his life of crime. Does that sound
far-fetched? Even that it had still fit him?
But first we went to
see a house that Ned Kelly had hidden in to elude the
police. The radio said it was now a hairdresser, It
was a struggle in the shop not hiding from the police!.
We drove from one end of the street to the other looking for
it. Finally we found the house, but now it was a gift shop
selling candles and handmade greeting cards and it was
closed. The radio broadcast was obviously out of date.
We didnít even get
out of the car, we just drove to the Costume and Pioneer
Museum. I think Kris was bored of Benalla all ready. I think
I was too. The Museum had the usual array of pamphlets and
the usual retired female volunteer manning the desk. It was
going to cost six bucks to see the cummerbund and we almost
didnít do it. But there wasnít much else for us to do
either, so we forked over the money gee
that would have difficult!
The cummerbund was in a
glass case. It was made of dark green satin. It had blotches
on it, which looked like rust stains. They could have been
blood stains, I suppose. And we looked at it for a while,
trying to get our six dollarís worth. Then that got boring
and we left Benalla for good.
part is on Glenrowan.
Part Two: Glenrowan
I donít think
Glenrowan really counts as a town. Nobody seems to live
there. Thereís a servo, advertising the best food on the
Hume Highway, except that Glenrowan isnít on the Hume any
more and the servoís closed down. Then thereís a couple
of tourist traps and thatís it. The only thing keeping
Glenrowan alive is the distant memory of Ned Kellyís
capture in the vicinity. Although nobody is even sure of the
exact location The exact location
is behind the old police station, if you had the patience
and curtesy, you may have seen the huge sign which MARKS
WHERE NED KELLY WAS CAPTURED!!. Letís just call
Glenrowan a convenient fiction.
So thereís a six
metre tall statue of Ned Kelly, badly proportioned, outside
of Kate Kellyís Tea House. I think Kate was Nedís Mum Sister.
Then thereís a replica of Ned Kellyís home, a wooden
shack with a museum and a gift shop. And then thereís the
animatronic show called Ned Kellyís Last Stand, the
signage obviously ripped off from the Indiana Jones series
of movies. Itís a two and a half million dollar,
forty-minute spectacular telling the history of Ned Kelly
and his final shoot-out with the police.
Thereís a big watch
face with movable hands outside, advertising when the next
show is scheduled to start. When we saw it was going to cost
fifteen bucks each we decided not to go in. I know itís
research, but we baulked. I can watch Arnie perform for
ninety minutes in a hundred million dollar spectacular at
the movies. I can watch Mick Jagger play Ned Kelly on video
for a couple of bucks. I know bad value when I see it.
We walked back to the
tea rooms and the statue of Ned. His head was too small. I
noticed that the statue was attached to the base with large
bolts. And how else do you suggest
they staged this spectacular piece?
Theoretically, he was detachable. I thought about pushing
him over. Will you get your little
kicks out of that??
All that was left for
us to do was visit the museum. The gift shop was free, but
you had to pay two dollars to go out the back, which we did.
And I started to get that feeling of rising hysteria. I kept
reading labels on the exhibits, and theyíd say something
like: Ďa washing machine of the type commonly in use when
Ned Kelly was aliveí or Ďfurniture reportedly built by
one of Nedís brothersí. There was a cage with a cockatoo
out the back, and a paddock with a horse in it. I donít
know why, but they were there. I started to panic. It was
all rubbish, bits and pieces of junk thrown together and
pretending to be educational. It was all fake. It was worse
then Benalla. Doubtful you arghhhh!
There were some
newspaper clippings on a board, and I started reading one of
them. It was from the Benalla Sentinel. The article said
that the most important historical find since the discovery
of Pompeii had been made: the discovery of Ned Kellyís
cummerbund, the only object still in existence that had once
been owned by Ned Kelly.
And it all clicked. The
cummerbund wasnít pissy at all. The cummerbund was the
Turin Shroud of the whole Ned Kelly industry. Everything
else was tawdry junk and false idolatory.
Kris and I went back
out into the gift shop. There was a huge range of Kelly
crap, from tea towels to plush figures. In the background
there was a tape playing, telling the story of Ned Kellyís
life. I presumed the guy behind the counter owned the place.
I think heíd heard us laughing while we were out back in
the museum. I donít think he liked us. Wonder
So I went through the
motion of buying some film. Iíd run out, taking photos of
the closed down servo gee your a real
comedian!. The narrator on the background tape said:
ĎThe police finally arrested Ned Kellyís father and had
their way with him.í
So I said to the guy:
ĎOoh-errí, as I gave him the money for the film. He
rolled his eyes at me. Again what a
Then Kris said: ĎI
suppose thatís why they called him Red Kelly.í
And I burst out
laughing in this guyís face. I probably managed to get
some spit on him. He didnít say anything and we left. That
man which he laughed and then spat on his face is damn
utterly rude this line is one the reason's I had to add this
bloke to my Moron's Page, that Guy is Rod Gerrett who he
laughed in his face, a great man and would do anything to
help others. I can not believe there would be such a rude,
arrogant pig out there as much as this bloke.
his website click here